Thursday, September 27, 2012

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Red Light Tension

Have you ever pulled up to a red light, looked over to your side, and noticed that you know the person sitting in the car next to you? At first your excited to see that your friend is gracing the roadway with you, but after the initial 3-5 seconds things begin getting really awkward. You've already waved and smiled, and then one of you looks away. Its a long way back to eye contact at this point. If you keep staring at them while they look away, that is creepy. If you look away, you worry that they might be staring at you. And what if they are? You have to try to play it cool -- but not super cool -- you don't want it to seem like your trying too hard. You wonder if you should roll down your window and say something... but what would you say? "Hey! I can't believe your driving on this road. That's really weird. Oh you can't hear me? Why are you giving me that look like you can't understand anything I'm saying but your smiling and laughing anyway." So, you choose to not roll down the window. You adjust the radio station. Wiggle a bit in your seat. Glance over once or twice. Grab your phone and act like someone just called you.

Of course, you might start an actual conversation. But soon the light will turn green and your getting pretty nervous that you'll end up getting flipped off by the dude that takes himself to seriously in the Ford Taurus behind you. He's already upset that you refused to let him out when he was trying to pull out of White Castle. Your concerned that he might need a toilet soon. And what if the conversation starts to go somewhere and the light changes? Do you call them and finish up the conversation? Follow them? Or do you just wait until you see them again and reminiscence about that weird day when you were both driving a car on the same road in the city you both live in?

Red Light Tension Etiquette:

1) Avoid the situation completely, keep your eyes forward, don't look around.

2) If someone is desperately trying to garner you attention, act like you don't know them, and shake your head as if to say, "you have issues".

3) If you happen to make eye contact at the same time, don't act excited. Instead, act as angry as possible that you've just seen them. They will be so confused.


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